I hurt my Neck. Well, actually its more than that. Last year I think covid caused inflammation in my Sinus and neck. I was OK for a while but as I worked months later my sinus got really bad. Then one day I stood up under a low part in a basement where I was working and compressed my neck. Since then it was almost impossible to paint because looking up would make it worse. Its as if there is an infection in my neck.
So I finished off that job. It was of course a beautiful job as always but since then I have basically been out of service. I have been fighting sinus, dizziness and the neck and eye pain.
2 Cat scans, (and I dont own a cat) 6 different Antibiotics two that were 24 days long, several steroids and nasal sprays and a X rays, I am not much better and am waiting for a MRI. Strange enough I took Prednisone for two weeks. And the first day I got my taste and smell back. It helped some but is very hard on people so I did not stay on it.
Obviously I cant survive such a Long Term Sickness financially. I have burned through my savings. So I am moving to something smaller. I have de-cluttered, thrown out, sold and given away. I got some good money for my furniture, TV and some tools but there is lots to go. I will be moving to something very simple. I May end up on disability.
I had taken my car off the road to save the insurance money etc. but thought now I need it to move. I went to start it and the battery was dead. So, I put in a new battery. I started backing it out of the driveway and there was a crunching sound. I went back and forward a couple times to Identify the sound.
I got out and one of my tires was flat on the passenger side.
When I filled the tire, it seems I wrecked the side wall. Its got a leak now. I will have to get that fixed.
So that is me at this time.
What do you care?
Don’t worry I will survive. But there are lots who wouldn’t. I could see how someone could end up homeless fast. Loose a job hurt yourself, have no friends, cant pay the bills and poof.
I guess Im more stubborn than that. If I hold my neck just so and stick Q-tips in my nose every morning and medicate I can pack. etc.. Maybe I will get a little trailer and do some traveling on the cheep. I could always beg or become a Walmart greeting person. LoL. Desperate times require desperate measures! I would need to wear a neck brace to get through a full day.
What does this have to do with God?
While I have seen Miracles and had a few myself. This hasn’t been that sort of miracle. Its a miracle in that it has force me out of a Job that I likely would not have left.
Im not mad at God.
Once you take the contempt some people have for God out of your heart, you see things differently. God is not a slot machine. I think everything is fine. I did not attach any blame to God. I did not blame myself either. Sure, I fell a bit of loss but why do I have to blame anyone or get angry? It is what it is.
2000 years ago Jesus was dying on the cross, his whole crew abandoned him. One went as far as telling his adversaries where he would be. After a fake trial they Strung Jesus up on a cross, on false charges.
Since Jesus was vindicated by his resurrection no one can doubt who he is. Jesus only stuck around for a few days, then he Left, literally ascending into the sky. He told crowds before: I go to prepare a place for you (john 14:6)… He said to some, you will not taste death till you see the kingdom of God come. (Matthew 16:27)
The kingdom of God had come, it was within people. There was a restoration for those who would repent , lose the contempt and return to following God. (mark 1:15)
Well I did that. I became a Christian almost 40 years ago. I see no reason now to change. God is still God. Jesus is still on the way. I don’t boubt his future coming, and I have long since accepted his physical presence is not here. I am not comfortless. (John 14:18) I have his presence. (Romans 8:11) God will not de-clutter my junk.
Daniel 3:17-18 New International Version
17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us[a] from Your Majesty’s hand. 18 But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”
I think some people put their life on hold waiting for God to do it. Yes, I do believe in prayer. Prayer proves the obvious. God is not physically here to talk too. Jesus taught people how to pray. So, clearly Jesus knew we would be abandoned physically. Some people want to create an alternate reality. Accept the facts. Unfortunately if they don’t get their God to jump they deny the faith, lose trust. They stop believing because their alternate reality wont come true.
Dear God, Heal my Neck Please.
And if not, I still love you and respect you. And this doesn’t have to be Gods plan, It can be just what happened. I am happy with it. (Philippians 4:11)
As the Bible says, Eccl 9:11 Time and chance happens to us all.
9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
11 I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
12 For man also knoweth not his time: as the fishes that are taken in an evil net, and as the birds that are caught in the snare; so are the sons of men snared in an evil time, when it falleth suddenly upon them.
What have I learned so far? No one wants my junk.!